2007 Posts

LOL OMG this Entry. I was Dating Benton this time,not Valenn...
Deadlyxxx Mon, 14 May 2007 15:35:41 -04:00 - Might want to do one in a few more days, I believe it can take up to 6 days for a pregnancy to be detected and it was only a few days ago. So check again soon. Yeahhh see why I use condoms? XD

Full Frontal Chaos

SacredRelics
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May 14, 2007, 03:27pm

[Replied]
Well thats good. God, like to scare me? Told your mom you thought you were pregnant?

Full Frontal Chaos

SacredRelics
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May 14, 2007, 03:23pm

[Replied]
Uhhh what was your journal about.....

Full Frontal Chaos

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Directions: What you do, is you tell the names of all the boyfriends you went out with during said grade in school, and then you tell your and his "story." It's that simple! Oh, and don't forget to bold their name.

Sixth Grade

I didn't have a Boyfreind when I was 12.... Me, my freinds Lindsay and Jennifer had a crush on this Jock named Shane but other then that you don't know what love is at 12.

Seventh Grade
at 13 you don't know what love is either but the first boy I dated and kissed was Brent Journey we dated for two school years and I of course thought I was in love but it was just puppy love he was a dumb Jock and now that I look back not cute at all lol he asked another girl out so I got upset and didn't go to school that entire year or even out. I was living with my Mom and decided to move in with my Dad in Tacoma.


Eighth Grade

I whent to a Uniformed school named Gault and there was one black guy named Vincent I liked but other then that all they was were freinds. same thing when I went back to Fairhaven in Bellingham I dated (Kyle and Bo) but never had a Serious Realtionship.

Freshman year

when I was 15 in high school I met Scott Pattern at first he was dating my Best friend Leiha (kinda) so even though I liked him I didn't say anything,my friend Alisha liked him too but he didn't feel the same so eventually she moved to a new school. we were friends first him,His freind Eric and Me. Scott and leiha decided they were better off as freinds and when my other freind Sami asked me and Scott if we were dating cause we were hanging out so much I said "I wish" he then called me on the phone that night asked if I was serious and asked me out.

we dated for 3 months and had our first Vday together. we had alot of things in common and he was Hilarious and a Grunge/Hippie boy With long hair which I loved. then he broke up with me because he said he wasn't ready for a realtionship I was angry at first but then I calmed down and we stayed Friends the whole time I was at Sehome.

 Scott

then I dated Daniel Turner oh joy *sarcasm* ok yeah he was hot and quite the charmer (kinda looks like Adam Lambert) and nice when you first meet him he saw me outside school when he was hanging with our Group and told my BFF Cleo that he thought I was pretty,I was really shy then so I just smiled at him,then in school he gave me a note asking me out to the Homecoming Dance I said yes so we went there and he's a really good dancer. Cleo thought we were perfect for eachother well after only 3 weeks of dating he broke up with me saying he had family issues he needed to take care of. I said I understood boy was I whipped lol the next day he was dating this girl Lacey (who was my freind but then she became a slut) I was really mad about that and refused to be his freind even though he tryed to sweet talk me. we-or i should say I- tried two more times and they all ended up the same him cheating on me after a week and lying about it. 

with him it's weird though cause I could feel if he was in pain or I'd have a dream about him and the next day or so I'd see him so that made it harder to move on. recently if I have a dream about him since he's in the army a few days later he'd contact me online being all freindly. but I think that stopped after I told him what I thought of him.

Yeah it dinky whatever.

Daniel

then Will a freind who I'd known for awhile at Sehome asked me out I was surprised I didn't Expect him to ask me out but I said yes everyone else was surprised cause he's Handicapped (he only has one arm) but I beleive we were really happy together,I was anyway. he was really nice and fun we dated for a few months and I thought I was in love with him so I was really hurt when he broke up with me saying he wasn't ready to date anyone. right....well he told Cleo and her brother Dorian and diffrent story so the realtionship had "lost it's luster" yeah jerk after that he was nothing but an asshole to me. especially when I started dating Sam cause he wanted her. 

Will

Sophomore year
I'm a little confused about years cause I was held back once in 8th grade but I was 15-16 when I dated Sam Turner. (no she is not related to Daniel)

 but first I should tell about you Crystal Trooper who I dated when I was 15 I had just begun to except my being Bi-sexaul and she was too (a bit) we were freinds and liked eachother so we went out. she wrote me sweet poems and letters I suppose you could say she was the "guy" in the realtionship cause she had short hair and dressed kinda tomboyish/Boho. but I could tell that even though I was open with my family,she wasn't going to tell her dad and then she decided to break up with me after writing that she'd never go back to a guy again,and date my freind (at the time) Nate. yeah she's a slut,but then he treated her like crap.

Sorry no pic.

then I dated Sam for 9 months, I took her away from none other then Daniel cause he was treating her like Crap (go figure) I think she was someone I truly loved. she was shy,I was outspoken and protected her alot she had a difficult child hood and family life and was a cutter (which yeah I did at the time to) she got me into being Goth. we did have our ups and downs and I did cheat on her once at a Holloween party (Concidently with the Guy she's now married to) we had broken up a few times but got back together, then I broke up with her cause I thought she was going to break up with me. and I started Dating Mike Boyce (the guy she's married to) we dated for awhile until he started acting like a Jerk and I felt weird being his first girlfreind. I didn't get over Sam for a long time.

   

Before going to the Valentine's Dance. which I asked her out to then we started actaully dating.

She looks alot diffrent now.

Juinor Year

yeah all what I just typed got deleted so. yeah I dated James Reitz for 11 months it was turbelanet we lived together, he has a dysfuntional Family,I'm best friends with his sister Mariah and Me and James have more fun as freinds. There Condensed Version.

 

Senior Year

Didn't have Senior Year dropped out.

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My old 2005/2006 Xanga posts

alright another big Gap in writing...Now about my other Ex.
2005 I'm Sick today and It sucks because Me & Valenn are moving into our Apartment today! What timing! Hopefully It will go away soon. I bought Valenn a Inu-yasha Patch at Suncoast as an early Yule Present and It cost me 3.99 instead of 1.99 like I had origanlly thought. so there whent My $ 5.00! and none of it spent on me. Valenn better appreicate it! 

Nov 2005 - Mom is sending me $20.00 and I'm buying Valenn a Harvey Birdman Action Figure The Boss. and My self eithear a MCR C.D. or Greenday's American Idieot. If They have any for 10.99. if Not I'll Just Buy Valenn Beavis & Butthead do America Music Soundtrack. I Spoil him too much! That's okay he makes me happy.

 

]]> Nov 26 2005

I'm tempted to spend that $20 on me instead. but I know I'll regret it later so I won't. Just like I would have regreted later throwing that Glass dish at Valenn's head. wich is why I didn't. But Fuck! he needs to stop getting all over me when shit breaks (mostly by him) or doesn't work. DO I have magickal Powers? no I do not. (I wish) I didn't cause it. most of the time It's him. and he needs to stop acting like he knows me. that really pisses me off! he doesn't. he's never even tried.

We just need a break that's all. and I know he's stressed about his trial. but I can't help him destress if he doesn't let me in. and he's NEVER let me in. gods, why can't anything stay good in my life!

]]> June 16 2006 Valenn bought us Celtic not rings for $33. they are not what I thought they were. Valenn does not believe in the Christian way of Marriege. but He said he would do a Handfasting. wich is a Pagan Ceremony. so maybe a year from now.....   

]]> Oct 31 2006

Yes I am still cutting. at times I just get so sad for no reason and don't think of how I'm effecting him when I do it.

I am sorry. but I can't help it. I have tried. god knows I've tried. But in Mention Of that I have just two words. HELP ME!!! 

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Valenn's Response....
WELL IF YOU DON'T STOP I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KICK YOUR ASS.

WHY THE FUCK DID I STAY WITH HIM FOR SO LONG....?!
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----->Apparently. We need to have a Talk. soon. because he's just not getting it!

 

 

- Feb 2006
I am so tired of Valenn's shit! and I hate D&D! with a passion. becuase whenever he's gaming with Mike. he never has anytime for me. and that's usaually every weekend.I'm not just talking about 2-3 hours eithear. I'm talking about 7:00 at night tell' 12:00 in the afternoon the next day! like he's doing right now. he could at least act like he has a life. I do. now that Marc's living with us. he tries to get me to go out places with him at night. wich I've been missing, because Valenn never goes out! we actually whent to the movies though amazing! not by ourselves of course we never do that anymore.

I should have saved that 30:00$ rather then buy him games. today was supposed to be our special day together. because we don't celebrate Valintines Day.and he's Gaming! I was leaving and he asked when I was coming back so we could do something um excuse me but you were the one who was Gaming all night. so It's your own danm faultt! I'm not mad at mike. It's not his fault Valenn has no backbone.

    

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old 2004 Xanga Posts ( I don't know how to make these Private sorry)

Dec 16 2004

Man I am so Trippin' and Excited with a capital E! I had my first Dance off ever in the White Water Dorm of Job corps. My first Dance off and it's at a school go figure. My first time dancing in front of a group was at a School dance. ( Besides on Stage of course) I was dancing my ass off and then this Bomb ass  Male dancer Alex issued a Dance off agaisn't me & this black girl Shawanna. I was all nervous because she's African-American and can I compete with her? but I did and she won but I honastly don't care she was nice about gave me a high five and said I dance real good. and it was fun. I sure wish Mike had been in there or better yet Cle'o & Sam!

The only one who did have a problem was this girl named Shanna but then again she hates everyone & was just jelous. I was looking at her when she was Dancing and was like okay Nice Booty shake now can you DO anything else? She's this Red head trying to be Black and it's just not working for her. I'm more Black then her. I need to go back to Tacoma again forAwhile because I'm starting to lose that. but, Even I would not put cornRows in my hair or an Afro. no matter how Black I am inside. It's Disrespecful. Just like I don't like African-Americans wearing Preppy ass outfits and Dying there hair Blonde (Uhem Eve Uhem) aren't they proud of who they are? I know I am.  

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I am so Over Tyler ( The guy who looks like Ludcris) I gave Him a letter and he showed it to his friends. now I would do the same. that's not what piss's me off. but the fact that he laughed at it! ( Kinda like Daniel) God, all these guys I've met so far are like 5 year olds! It's Pathetic and the Gothic one's wont talk to me.

Of course there is this one Ethiopian that asked me what my name was and was really nice. he's also very Handsome. he's Dark of course with short hair dark Brown eyes and a Goatee. They were having a Holiday here and the one's from Ethiopia were dancing. they are really good. no one has seen me dance yet. I'm not sure if they would be impressed. Oh that guy also has a cute Smile.

I do like Mike but were too good of friends and I don't want to screw that up. Me & Khori talk every now and then but no biggie. I did notice though that when I mentioned wanting to go out with Tyler Mike looked dissapointed. He's been kinda down today, Snapping at people and being by himself. He's not usaully like that he's Usaully in high spirits. Laughing and talking about his Music. he's Very intelligent and can Sing and Play the Guitar. But, AnyWays I'm going to Try to talk to him. even if he does have this Misconception about age.    

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(Wow a LONG Gap in writing lol)
Oct 3 2004 [I'm over at Sam's housse now! we watched FireFly and Yesterday we Danced at Homecoming and other stuff.... Yeah...Anyhoo... We still need to finish writing Vampress Maidens. Okay, I'm going to go now . Yeah... ByEEEEEE!
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I'm going to job corps at the end of October. so I'll be able to go to HomeComing without a problem and Holloween too. yeah.... I'm going to be Evil Alice half of the time (I have the costume) and a Gothic Fairy when we go out to the Haunted Houses.

Oh, I had some very nice Dreams about Sam last night. yeah... anyhoo....

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I feel Lost, I Feel Alone, I feel Dark and Troubled. then she shows up and I'm okay. I'm Alive finally. I can breath and I can trust and I can open my heart without feeling scared. that is what she has taught me. With her I am Complete. Because without her I would surely die.

Without any of you guys. (B.F.F. essspecially) I would not be here. Thank you all. I love U!

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I am Happy! Toooday!! Me & Sam got back together yay! Laura said someone would have to break it to Eric. I'll break it to him. I'll break more then that! *Sword slices Skin* Yeah, anyhoo... he's scary..... so is STephie (Sarcasm) but, for diffrent reasons. well, all that matters is that me & Sam are back together and nothing is going to tear us apart no matter how many people talk.   

]]> Sept 20 2004

 

Well, Me & Cleo Are freinds again. so, I don't have to give up on the words Best freind. and turn into a recluse. like I was going to. she's happy for me & Sam it was just her own problems. (wich I'm not going to say. I realize this is on the World Wide Web!) so, yeah we just promised to talk about our problems more often.  

]]> Sept 14 2004 me. I'm not going to change my mind again. because she's the one I need. And that's IT! only her. yup. I'm going to Job Corps on the 28 as far as I know. *Tear* but, that's okay It'll be good for me. I still hope I can go to Homecoming...   ]]> Sept 14 The love you need is already here. when you call me I'm gonna be there. then Why I wanna look for love in all the wrong places? I don't know.

I know you better then you know yourself. and I could show you better then they could show you. I had you on such a high Pedestal. do things for you I swear I'd NEVER do. (like ignore all my friends just to make sure I didn't slip up again. but, I guess I did) but, you know I had to move on I guess. People was in my ear saying you did me wrong and I didn't have to believe'em but, I guess I did. (Do I still? I'm not sure) you being so distant and that was just not the norm. now everything you said did you really mean? 'cause everything I said (like your my reason 2 start over knew) I still mean now. you can make the frown and all the crying sounds. but, if you would have just talked to me first you would have found out the truth. 

The love you need is already here. when you call me I'm gonna be there. then Why I wanna look for love in all the wrong places? I don't know.

You ask me "why you keep fooling with him then?" well, I didn't. but, now you're gone so I guess I'm with him. or should I walk alone? I don't know how! I felt that maybe HE would notice me and if not then I don't know what to do. to get you back. I don't know if I can. or even if I 'm ready to deal with all this again.

I used to say " Tell me what you want from me. take a look at what you see. something you can have for years." but,I'm sick of being Blind. and right now this scares me. because, I can't get you out of my head. and I wonder when that day will come when you'll be gone from my memory. my Freinds say to just let you go. but, it's a lot more Complicated then that.   

The love you need is already here. when you call me I'm gonna be there. then Why I wanna look for love in all the wrong places? I don't know.

Aint it funny how a good girl trys so hard to be bad. so, she can fit in with "her kind of People" she claims to have issues that she can't fix. you can't or you won't? because, everyone, unless there incredibly weak, can fix there life and make it right. I did it all by myself. and I tried to help you but, you refused to be fixed. they wan't to be with people that'll lose there life rather then with someone who will do them right. I only wanted to make sure you had everything I got. Make sure you were happy and push my problems aside. now, I realize, Mateareil things don't matter that much and I need'd for you to be for me too. don't let me be the one to hold you up and go fight your demons I can't always be there. and maybe that's why I left you because, I was leaving litterly anyways. and I thought this way it would hurt you less. not make you pine away just think I was bad. It seems to be working 'cause you're stronger now. but, well it's easier for U it's slowley killing me. I didn't say that to mess with your mind. you can relax.      

The love you need is already here. when you call me I'm gonna be there. then Why I wanna look for love in all the wrong places? I don't know. "I'm telling you love don't act like that! I'm tellling you now love don't act like that!" yeah, but how else was I supposed to tell you? wasn't this easier? instead of having to be gone from you for 2 years? Right?

]]> Sept 15 2004 I started cutting again. Why you ask? well, if you've hurt somebody so much. you start feeling like maybe you should hurt yourself too. I don't regret it either. I deserved it.

I am so Sorry that I did that to you! that was just me being pissed off & not realizing what I had done.

I wish my Goddess would come back and pick me up carrying me out of the waters I'm Drowning in. You told me you would always love me & by proposing to you I Promised Forever. I'm sorry about breaking that promise. I messed up but, I NEVER meant for us to Break up at all! I was remembering all the bad things without realizing that there were alot more good things as well. like our Journel, like our poems to each other & our Looks like we could read eachothers minds. I'm sorry for being such a bitch. but, I thought you did things that you really didn't people were talking, saying how you were Cheating on me, Still talking to Daniel and I believed them. I believed them without ever talking to you I'm sorry about that. I thought It would be easiar to just let you go I thought maybe I could move on... But, I can't! I don't know how! and everytime I'm without you it seems to hurt more. I'd do anything now  "I'd walk the Desert & I'd Swim the sea as long as when I get there you're in Love with me."  maybe, If you ever forgive me we could do it over? right this time. and ask eachother questions and it won't feel like a trivia game. and I Promise that I will not do that again. If I'm mad about something and you're not here I'll call you. Or you can ask me what's wrong. and calm me down. (you've always been able to calm me down before)

For what it's worth I'm Sorry. And I still love you. I've never stopped.        

]]> July 30 2004 July 17 2004 Thursday, July 01, 2004 This was from awhile Back.....

Thursday, July 01, 2004

My eyes sting and are now Red from days of crying. My heart hurts from Days of missing her and wondering what is going on? My Hate is for my Friends especially My "Best Friend" becuase it seems they have all deserteated me. i need to talk to my love to ask her to help me. but, she is not here. and when I leave (Wich is soon) when I come back will I even have her? I miss my old life. oh, if I could turn back time I surley would. as I look at my arm cut up once again this time worse. I begin to cry and wish she would call ___ Witchka Sam's reaction: FOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You promised you wouldn't!! Why?! Believe me I'm holding on by a thread and its breaking ever so slowly. When you come back I'll be here waiting for you. I learned to be patient. So here I'll stay waiting for the only true love I will ever have, YOU! SO DONT FUCKING CUT YOURSELF OR I WILL PERSONALLY FLY OVER THERE AND TAKE YOU TO THE FOREST!!!!!!!!!! ( of corse thats not a bad thing because only good things will happen there) " randomly punches Brians face for no reason at all and makes you laugh because I like to here you laugh) Believe me If I could I would Run and take you with me to some far off place so that we could stay there forever.

I U WE

By: Micheal Jackson

Typed by: Witchka

I said U had to do it. U said U didn't want to. We talked about it, and we agreed maybe I could help. I said you were wrong U insisted U were right.We held eachother and right & wrong dissapeared. I began crying. U began crying too. we embraced and between us grew a flower of peace.

How I love this mystery called We! Where does it come from I wonder, out of thin air? I thought about this mystery, and relized something: we must be Loves favorite child, becuase until I reach 4 you, We is not even there. It arrives on the wings of tenderness, it speaks through our silent understanding. when i laugh at myself, it smiles. when I forgive you, it dances in jubilation.

so We is not a choice anymore, not if U & I want to grow together. We unites us, increases our strenght, it picks up our burden when U & I are ready to fall. the truth is that U & I would have given up long ago, but We won't let us. it is too wise. "Look into you're hearts." it says. " What do U see? not U & I, but only We."

 

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2005

[

Name	Michelle
Nickname	Shelle or Angel Eyes
Name you'd like to have	Marrissa or Roxy
Age	18
Birthday	APRIL 27 1987
Birthplace	T-Town! (Guess)
Place you live now	B-Ham
Place you'd like to live	NYC or Florida
Favorite
Food	Cheeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ice Cream	MInt Choc.Chip
Flavor	Chocalate
Gum	the zebra kind.
Band/Group	Linkin Park ?
CD	Meotra
Store	Hot Topic/Anthroplogie
Thing to eat at movies	Choc.Raisens,Buttered extra salty Popcorn!!!
Book	Sweet Valley! Mangas....
Magazine	M or US
Animal	PAnther!
Website	Deadlyxxx
Movie	The Crow
T.V show	Teen Titans!
Scent	Incense
This or that
Black/White	BLACK
Chocolate/Vanilla	Both
Fish/Foul	Birds
1/2	Ranma 1/2 :D
Coke/Pepsi	COKE Pepise burned M.J.!
Up/Down	shake it! Te,He,He...
Coke/Dr. Pepper	Root Beer
Pickles/Cucumbers	Pickels. Cucumbers Yuck!
Harry/Draco	I hate Harry potter!!! Die Bitch!!! Draco's hot!
Jack/Will	Hee,Hee Jack
The Phantom/Raul	Phantom
Simpsons/Familly Guy	family guy. love you stevie!
Spring/Fall	Spring
Summer/Winter	Spring!
Have you ever
Bungie Jumped	Hell no!
Swam wih a shark	HELL FUCKIN'NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Been to a concert	yes. cher. wasn't that good.
Skinny dipped	No. Perv....
Shot a gun	No. Want too. In Eli's ass!!!!!!!!
At someone	yes. Eli. or Daniel
Broken the Law	Ummm....Shoplifting.....
Burned a Cd (if so then the above should be yes)	yes. ALOT!!!!! but most of them were stolen. Not by me!
Almost died	Yeah. Stop Reminding me!!!!
Relationships
Boyfriend/Girlfriend	James (maybe)
Crush	YEAHTHATGUYOVERTHERE -point.-Marc
Have you ever made out	With Mickie
Been kissed	Yes! I've done more then that.....
Ever been In love	WHAT'S HAVING A BOYFRIEND MEAN TO YOU?!
Has anyone broken your heart	Hell yeah. tons.
What have you done for love	Almost killed myself. he enjoyed hearing that tho. *Why would he enjoy that?!* because he's a sick,stalkerish Freaking Fag!!!!!!!!
Are you married	no
The iceing on the 'You' Cake
Do you have any piercings	do ears count?
tatoos	I wish
scars	HELL YES
from what	ummm... burns,scissors,knifes,safety pins...yeah you know where this is going.....
Your height	5'1"
Eye color	Brown
Hair color	Purplish Black/Fushia
Favorite boys name	Alan
Girls name	Echo
Do you likeMusicals	Yup.
If so which one	My Fair Lady, Chicago
Have you ever been beat up	Sort of xD
What do you do in your free time	DRAW,Write,read and write some more!
What do you do with your friends	ALOT OF SHIT!!!!
Whats your hearts desire	have kids, get my book of poems published.
The Questions I forgot
Wearwolves/ Vampires	VAmpires! Werewolves suck!
Appels/Oranges	"Apples"
Favorite music	Alternative rock
Time of day	Midnight!
Word	ooooookay..... Your stupid. Baka!
Frase	bloody dollys
Phantom of the Opera masquerade/ Van Helsing Masquerade	BOTh
Do you ever dream of being someone else	yes. lisa marie. and I 'd stay with Michael Jackson!
IS there anything you regret doing	HECK YES (I'm so sorry, Sam!)
Last but not least
Are you confident in yourself	Sometimes

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